Happy Birthday Charissa!

Picture taken at Genting Highlands [2004]

My first-born and only daughter turns 16 today. I remember very vividly two things about her when she was a baby. She had lovely curly hair and always had a smile in her face.

Her name Charissa is a latinised version of the Greek word "charis" meaning "grace or gift of God". Indeed she is. As a baby, she was very easy to look after. I remember rushing home everyday wanting to play, cuddle and talk to her. I used to spend a lot of time with her. I miss being able to cuddle you. I miss being able to talk to you more freely. Sometimes I feel like I no longer understand you, and this makes me extremely sad.

I enjoy watching you excel in sports. I'm very happy that you love music although we obviously prefer rather different genre. I'm very proud of your many talents. I do know you do put a considerable effort in your studies. If I'm hard on you it's because I think what's require of you to excel in your studies is going to be just as difficult. And I genuinely believe you got what it takes to achieve your goals but they are not going to be without some "pain".

I hope you'll be able to achieve your dreams - school-wise, career-wise and life-wise. I hope you'll grow up to be as wonderful a woman as your mummy - beautiful both in character and physically, self-less, strong and wise.

I love you very much - more than I get to express these days! Happy birthday to my only princess!

Lessons from Life 2

"Let him who cannot be alone beware of community.... Let him who is not in community beware of being alone....Each by itself has profound pitfalls and perils. One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings, and one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of vanity, self-infactuation, and despair." Dietrich Bonhoefffer, Life Together

Paradoxes of Life

• It is possible to experience freedom in bondage.
• There is death even amongst the living.
• One can be alone in a crowd.
• The more we learn, the less we know.
• Our strength is often also our weakness.

The World Needs People...

who cannot be bought;
whose word is their bond;
who put character above wealth;
who possess opinions and a will;
who are larger than their vocations;
who do not hesitate to take chances;
who will not lose their individuality in a crowd;
who will be as honest in small things as in great things;
who will make no compromise with wrong;
whose ambitions are not confined to their own selfish desires;
who will not say they do it "because everybody else does it";
who are true to their friends through good report and evil report, in adversity as well as in prosperity;
who do not believe that shrewdness, cunning and hard-headedness are the best qualities for winning success;
who are not ashamed or afraid to stand for the truth when it is unpopular,
who can say "NO" with emphasis, although all the rest of the world says, "Yes".

Lessons from Life

• Life is not fair.
• Live & act according to your beliefs rather than what's popular.
• Honesty does not always pay.
• It is in my nature to sin - admit it!
• "I can change no one;
  Only I can change;
  Maybe when I change, others will change too." Cecil Osbourne
• Experience learns from personal calamities. Wisdom learns from the calamities of others.
• "Everything is flux." Heraclitus

Tribute to Mothers

Today I pay tribute to one of the greatest people on earth - mothers!

One of the toughest, thankless, 24/7, least respected, under-valued, overlooked vocation on earth. Sadly, many of our modern (working) women are just as guilty of perpectuating this misconception.

A mother is a child-bearer, breast-feeder, parent, mentor, counsellor, teacher, tuitor, domestic cleaner, seamstress, chef, babysitter, play-mate to children, chauffeur, human alarm-clock, homemaker, nurse, etc....all in one. And these are over and above her role as wife, and in many cases these days, career woman.

I think it is a crime to remember one's mother only on Mother's Day. I think is a bloody shame that there are women (and men - understandably stupid) who think and perpectuate the idea that being a full-time-stay-at-home mother prevents a women from realising her "full" potential. I think is sad and deceitful, if not catatrosphic, that governments all over the world entice mothers with rewards to return to the workforce. No domestic helper, no first-class nursery or child-care centre, not even the most caring grandparent can possibly replace a mother.

I genuinely and sincerely respect and envy mothers. Mothers are one of my heroes. Nobody exemplify respect and selfless love for another human being like a mother does. I've heard and witness many amazing fathers who are sacrificial and selfless but mothers outnumber them hands down. I know of mothers who have to resort to doing some of the most shameful things to themselves for the sake of their children. No amount of campaigns or social programmes can influence the adults of tomorrow like a mother (and father too) can.

I beseech all women to carefully consider the challenge of being a fulltime-stay-at-home mother. I do realise that it is becoming increasingly difficult to be one. But do not let the opportunity to realise indeed your true and full potential as a human being pass without serious deliberation and attempt. I respect some are just not able to for valid reasons.

I am truly privileged to have met and known many such mothers. Not least, my late mother (who taught me how to be a man) and my wife (who inspires me to be a husband and father). If heaven should ever have place for only one kind of people, let them be mothers.

True Sportmanship has died!

"Today, one must think like a hero to behave like a merely decent human being." John Le Carre - The Russia House

Look at sports today. Football for example, when was the last time we saw a footballer voluntarily admitted that his/her hand touched the ball (even if the referee failed to see it) or that he/she was responsible for kicking the ball across the touchline? What kind of sports-personalities attract the attention of the tabloids today? The typical sports-person that is lauded in the tabloid today, albeit talented, is most probably foul-mouthed, unkempt, promiscuous, vain, arrogant, proud that he/she is honest about the fact that he/she has at one time in the past committed felony or consumed drugs. Where have all the decent sportsmen & sportswomen gone? Where are the "heroes"?

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting therefore that we go around passing judgement or publicly shaming such characters. But can we not NOT offer them unnecessary additional publicity than they already have. Let's not encourage hooliganism. Let's bring back decency.