Monday, May 30, 2005

Happy Birthday Charissa!


Picture taken at Genting Highlands [2004]

My first-born and only daughter turns 16 today. I remember very vividly two things about her when she was a baby. She had lovely curly hair and always had a smile in her face.

Her name Charissa is a latinised version of the Greek word "charis" meaning "grace or gift of God". Indeed she is. As a baby, she was very easy to look after. I remember rushing home everyday wanting to play, cuddle and talk to her. I used to spend a lot of time with her. I miss being able to cuddle you. I miss being able to talk to you more freely. Sometimes I feel like I no longer understand you, and this makes me extremely sad.

I enjoy watching you excel in sports. I'm very happy that you love music although we obviously prefer rather different genre. I'm very proud of your many talents. I do know you do put a considerable effort in your studies. If I'm hard on you it's because I think what's require of you to excel in your studies is going to be just as difficult. And I genuinely believe you got what it takes to achieve your goals but they are not going to be without some "pain".

I hope you'll be able to achieve your dreams - school-wise, career-wise and life-wise. I hope you'll grow up to be as wonderful a woman as your mummy - beautiful both in character and physically, self-less, strong and wise.

I love you very much - more than I get to express these days! Happy birthday to my only princess!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Lessons from Life 2

"Let him who cannot be alone beware of community.... Let him who is not in community beware of being alone....Each by itself has profound pitfalls and perils. One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings, and one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of vanity, self-infactuation, and despair." Dietrich Bonhoefffer, Life Together

Paradoxes of Life

  • It is possible to experience freedom in bondage.
  • There is death even amongst the living.
  • One can be alone in a crowd.
  • The more we learn, the less we know.
  • Our strength is often also our weakness.

The World Needs People...

who cannot be bought;
whose word is their bond;
who put character above wealth;
who possess opinions and a will;
who are larger than their vocations;
who do not hesitate to take chances;
who will not lose their individuality in a crowd;
who will be as honest in small things as in great things;
who will make no compromise with wrong;
whose ambitions are not confined to their own selfish desires;
who will not say they do it "because everybody else does it";
who are true to their friends through good report and evil report, in adversity as well as in prosperity;
who do not believe that shrewdness, cunning and hard-headedness are the best qualities for winning success;
who are not ashamed or afraid to stand for the truth when it is unpopular,
who can say "NO" with emphasis, although all the rest of the world says, "Yes".

Lessons from Life

  • Life is not fair.
  • Live & act according to your beliefs rather than what's popular.
  • Honesty does not always pay.
  • It is in my nature to sin - admit it!
  • "I can change no one;
    Only I can change;
    Maybe when I change, others will change too." Cecil Osbourne
  • Experience learns from personal calamities. Wisdom learns from the calamities of others.
  • "Everything is flux." Heraclitus

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Tribute to Mothers

Today I pay tribute to one of the greatest people on earth - mothers!

One of the toughest, thankless, 24/7, least respected, under-valued, overlooked vocation on earth. Sadly, many of our modern (working) women are just as guilty of perpectuating this misconception.

A mother is a child-bearer, breast-feeder, parent, mentor, counsellor, teacher, tuitor, domestic cleaner, seamstress, chef, babysitter, play-mate to children, chauffeur, human alarm-clock, homemaker, nurse, etc....all in one. And these are over and above her role as wife, and in many cases these days, career woman.

I think it is a crime to remember one's mother only on Mother's Day. I think is a bloody shame that there are women (and men - understandably stupid) who think and perpectuate the idea that being a full-time-stay-at-home mother prevents a women from realising her "full" potential. I think is sad and deceitful, if not catatrosphic, that governments all over the world entice mothers with rewards to return to the workforce. No domestic helper, no first-class nursery or child-care centre, not even the most caring grandparent can possibly replace a mother.

I genuinely and sincerely respect and envy mothers. Mothers are one of my heroes. Nobody exemplify respect and selfless love for another human being like a mother does. I've heard and witness many amazing fathers who are sacrificial and selfless but mothers outnumber them hands down. I know of mothers who have to resort to doing some of the most shameful things to themselves for the sake of their children. No amount of campaigns or social programmes can influence the adults of tomorrow like a mother (and father too) can.

I beseech all women to carefully consider the challenge of being a fulltime-stay-at-home mother. I do realise that it is becoming increasingly difficult to be one. But do not let the opportunity to realise indeed your true and full potential as a human being pass without serious deliberation and attempt. I respect some are just not able to for valid reasons.

I am truly privileged to have met and known many such mothers. Not least, my late mother (who taught me how to be a man) and my wife (who inspires me to be a husband and father). If heaven should ever have place for only one kind of people, let them be mothers.

True Sportmanship has died!

"Today, one must think like a hero to behave like a merely decent human being." John Le Carre - The Russia House

Look at sports today. Football for example, when was the last time we saw a footballer voluntarily admitted that his/her hand touched the ball (even if the referee failed to see it) or that he/she was responsible for kicking the ball across the touchline? What kind of sports-personalities attract the attention of the tabloids today? The typical sports-person that is lauded in the tabloid today, albeit talented, is most probably foul-mouthed, unkempt, promiscuous, vain, arrogant, proud that he/she is honest about the fact that he/she has at one time in the past committed felony or consumed drugs. Where have all the decent sportsmen & sportswomen gone? Where are the "heroes"?

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting therefore that we go around passing judgement or publicly shaming such characters. But can we not NOT offer them unnecessary additional publicity than they already have. Let's not encourage hooliganism. Let's bring back decency.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

My 20th Wedding Anniversary


Whyteleafe, Surrey, UK [Winter 2002]

Today I remember a special day, my 20th Wedding Anniverary! The day I made my matrimonial vows to one sweet young Josephine Teo at the Church of the Good Shepherd, Singapore.

Yes. Exactly 7,300 days (& almost as many quality evening "rendezvous" - believe you me!), 2 houses, 3 Ong-lets, 2 second-hand cars, countless of Scrabble games, quarrels, hard times, even harder times, etc....we're still together.

Words cannot describe how much I love her (what a sad excuse). She is self-less, supportive, mother & wife par excellence, a quiet, steady & faithful partner who sincerely deserves better. We don't normally celebrate our anniversary but I believe in a supra-physical way we are able to communicate our love & commitment.

I love you. You are the best person for me (more than I could possibly know). You're indeed my soul-mate and co-labourer in my journey on earth. I can't wait to see what the next 20 years would bring us. For your sake, I hope better days. You deserve it!

I love you!

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Happy Birthday Saul!


Picture of the Gentle-Giant [August 2004]

Today is our 3rd & youngest child's birthday, Saul Joseph Ong. I remember very vividly this day in 1993 at 6.53pm. He was an 8 pounder - plus 11 oz to be precise.

We had very wonderful and positive experiences with our first two children (Charissa & Paul) and so thought it would make good company for our children and ourselves if we had an additional child. And so we asked God for another child. Hence, his firstname, Saul, which means "ask for" in Hebrew.

I love his sense of humour, his interesting choices of music, his love for football & rugby. He's probably the healthiest (though not the fittest) among the kids. He's still young & have lots to learn and experience. He's a gentle giant.

My dear Saul, I wish you success in all your endeavours. I hope you'll mature into a strong, courageous, gentle, sensitive and confident man. I love you very much. Happy Birthday!

Sunday, January 02, 2005

My Spiritual History

Since birth, I was raised by Christian parents. Then, they were attending a Brethren church. They subsequently left the church and became members of a Roman Catholic (RC) church! - yes I know, how unusual.

As a young child, I used to go regularly to a peranakan service with my Godma (my Dad's elder sister who kinda adopted me). But when my parents decided to become RCs, I joined them too. I was enthusiastic. I attended a special and private catechism class under a very fatherly, warm, pious dutch priest. Eventually, I became baptised and confirmed. I was about 11-12 years old. I did enjoy a very special and at that moment a very real spiritual experience. I found tremendous solace in God. I even starting going to Church on my own - if my parents weren't going. Then, I decided it was time to start learning to contribute and be more involved in church community. Since I love music, I decided I would join a church "choir". There were several in the church. The one I joined was more a singing group than a choir - many of us do not have any music training (theory or otherwise), but they - and so was I ;) - were a very talented bunch nevertheless, young, energetic, rather jazzy. I learned many things from them. I learned how to sing, play the guitar, how to smoke, drink, BGR, party, dance, perform in public, learn what grown-ups do (I was the "baby" of the group amongst the mostly young working members), and other very useful life lessons including RC religiousity or piety. I didn't really learn much more about God but they were fun time.

Towards the middle of my teenage years, I started becoming dissatisfied with my "shallow" spiritual life and state. Going to church was becoming a mundane exercise. I love collecting bibles of all shapes, sizes and versions but I didn't read them. I knew a lot about God, church and all but I didn't know God. Hence, I decided I would give myself a last go at re-discovering God. I wanted to understand and experience true spirituality, not piety. I wanted to be a Christian, not religious person. I wanted to know my creator, not a religion. If I should find out that there is no such being as a God, I would be happy to be an atheist. I didn't I needed any pyschological blanket.

After some soul searching period which included brief (and superficial) attempts at considering other religious beliefs, I decided that Christianity was the most consistent, more "timeless" and least "form-focused". Hence, I embarked on a quest to read, learn and understand the Bible - the Word of God. After about a year and a half of reading, learning, asking questions, talking to my RC priests, my non-RC christian friends, attending workshops, visiting churches, and attending Bible Study group meetings, I got to know God more intimately. This was to be another significant milestone of my Christian pilgrimage. God was no longer just a transcedent being. I was beginning to experience his immanence. I was communicating with him. He became my life foci and compass. I tried as much as I humanly can to obey his precepts. I even thought I was experiencing some inexplicable spiritual phenomenon - perhaps just short of being miraculous. I was like a giant, specially designed 3M sponge. I was soaking up almost everything - including the loads of rubbish you often get in church.

Another milestone. I decided I would do anything and everything I can to "serve" God - not necessary as a full-time Christian worker. But as things would turn out, an opening to serve in a Christian para-church organisation became available. One thing led to another, I was serving as a Christian worker. My limited knowledge in God (theological knowledge) became more apparent. My inability to discern between the truth, the myths and the lies that we being taught over in church and over the pulpit became increasingly frustrating.

One more milestone. I decided to enrol into a theological college so that I could be equipped to read, interpret and understand the Bible in its original script to its original audience and sitz im leben. Perhaps only then I could know what, when and how to apply what the Bible teaches. In some ways, they were luxurious time - to be able to study the Bible and do theology fulltime. One thing was for sure. The more I learn, the less I seem to know. The more I learn, the more questions I have unanswered. The more I learn, the more I realise I did not know. The more I learn, the more apparent how ignorant I was. But don't get me wrong. I am much happier knowing that I know little than to ignorantly think I know much. I became more aware of how childish, ignorant, if not erroneous many of my own teachings or understanding were. But why should understanding God or his teaching be so difficult?!

Anyway, I hopped on - another milestone. I started working with churches. Began taking up more teaching assignments. Did consider very seriously the possibility of pursuing a priesthood career but decided against it. Too many things one would have to do as a Christian priest that I did not subscribe to. Didn't think I would make a competent one too. Could not fully appreciate the need to distinguish between the lay and the clerical professional other than for the sake of church order and administration. Simply a church worker, I was happy to be.

From this point on, my milestones became more and more like bolders of problems and obstacles I had to roll away - some perhaps of my own doing.

To be continued....sorry!, more to add. The entry dates are not accurate. I use them to organise my blog more than to indicate the real date of my thoughts or journal.

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Saturday, January 01, 2005

To Blog or Not To Blog?

Why the heck do I want to blog? Why would I want to publicly post my thoughts?

Personally, I genuinely hate drawing unnecessary attention to myself. However, there are some things or issues that I strongly feel not enough (if any) is said or shared. Some of these could be political, social, religious or personal. Hence, anything I've decided to publish here are intended for public reading. I may not be completely right or wrong, but nevertheless, they are my personal and honest (as honest as humanly possible) opinions or thoughts. Your constructive comments are sincerely welcome.


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